The Animal Rights Summit

Is it just me, or is increasingly polarized society? It seems that for every action there is a reaction and equaller oppositer. And against the war. For or against the environment. For or against the family.

Consider the role animals play in society. No, I mean politicians, TV producers or Janet Jackson. I mean animals like rabbits and mice and bears.

Some people to sacrifice their lives for animals, to protest against the use of animals in laboratory experiments. They oppose the harsh testing of chemicals and makeup on rabbits and mice innocent. I suspect they would secretly rather than chemicals and cosmetics be tested on humans but some.

Meanwhile, another large contingent of society has no interest in animal testing makeup, because it would be much better shot. I mean animals, not animal rights protesters. On second thought, they might want to shoot the demonstrators, too.

I thought I'd share this great when I looked at the label of a new "powerful anti-dandruff shampoos that we just bought - an oil-based shampoo that works to sink into doing hair for at least three minutes. The instruction manual in 13 languages, offers an impressive array of records with the danger symbols, even warning me not to leave the shampoo have in the eyes.

I stopped. I have my eyelids (effect). Here is a chemical had to be paid all over my head and soak for at least three minutes. A chemical that will take place on my face and eyes. A chemical that will surely make my eyes blind ... or worse.

Then I read a tiny written down: "Not tested on animals". Luckily, I thought. I would not want to go blind!

I decided to try to bridge the gap between the animal rights movement and the sport movement hunter convening a world summit.

I chose to invite some animals, including Big Bear, a veteran of several hunting seasons. I also called the Three Blind Mice, testers shampoo expert, told me.

Across the table, I invited Robin Gunn and his merry band of hunters.

"It's not fair," began Big Bear. "What animals should be subject to torture human. We have rights, too." Robin Gunn snorted. His band of merry hunters snorted, too.

I decided groped a rapprochement. "Admittedly, most people would rather sacrifice a couple of lab rats discover their children have lost their sight."

"Rats!" insisted Mouse # 1.

"Excuse me," I replied

"We are mice not rats," said Mouse # 2.

Robin Gunn snorted. His band of merry hunters snorted, too.

"I suspect most people do not care if their cosmetics have been tested on mice or rats or elephants, until know the products are safe before you buy them," I suggested useful.

"Fantastic! Now our host wants to torture elephants, too," Big Bear growled with an increasingly hungry look in his eyes. "Do not you know I'm an endangered species?"

It 'was then that I decided to go to Plan B. "Brownies anyone?"

Robin Gunn snorted. His band of merry hunters snorted, too. But they ate the brownies.

I turned to Mr. Gunn. '"I understand the need to eat animals I said with a look at Big Bear, but they were not killing for sport seems a bit' too?"

"Why?" Mr. Gunn wanted to know.

"Well, was not so a sport when a team gets a high-powered rifle while the other never knows there's even a game in progress, right?"

Big Bear growled. Mice growled, too. OK, so it was more like a sharp squeak, but it's the thought that counts, right?

I tried another line of discussion. "And if he met with the animals to choose teams. It would be a bit 'more fair?"

Robin Gunn looked at me like I was crazy. Big Bear looked at me like I was crazy.

It turns out that I was crazy. The summit ended in failure. Big Bear loved the brownies, but wanted something more. The Three Blind Mice even saw it coming.

And Mrs. Gunn is really enjoying his new bearskin rug.

Meanwhile, I do not know what to do with my hair growing fat. I suppose that sooner or later I'll have to use shampoo. Meanwhile, I wonder ... Think ketchup work?